"Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ"
-- Ephesians
And now, three from one:
"What the age needs is not a genius — it has had geniuses enough, but a martyr, who in order to teach men to obey would himself be obedient unto death. What the age needs is awakening. And therefore someday, not only my writings but my whole life, all the intriguing mystery of the machine will be studied and studied. I never forget how God helps me and it is therefore my last wish that everything may be to his honour."
"Let others complain that the times are wicked. I complain that they are paltry; for they are without passion. ...The thoughts of their hearts are too puny to be sinful. For a worm it might conceivably be regarded a sin to harbor thoughts such as theirs, not for a man who is formed in the image of God."
"The thing is to find a truth which is true for me, to find the idea for which I can live and die. "
-- Kierkegaard
Peace, love, and joy to you all.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Jesus Camp ~or~ Jesus Camp
So, I just finished watching Jesus Camp (imdb) which was an all-in-all fairly well-made documentary. Having grown up in the charismatic Christian circle, I definitely saw some artifacts from my childhood (though that's certainly not to say that my experience was like that of the children in this film). My only really big complaint against the movie is it's implicit assertion that most evangelicals are fundamentalist pentecostal evangelicals, which simply is not the case. This also carries into their portrait of evangelical Christians as somehow fully united or connected; obvious to anyone who reads this who's familiar with the evangelical Church, there are few things less united. Anywho, here are the straight notes from my steno while I was watching the movie (and if the bulleted list seems daunting, skip to the paragraph after it, cause that's where the best story of all is):
And I laughed.
Peace, love, and joy to you all.
- Christianity really tends towards abject dualism (a quote from the movie goes something along the lines of 'Either you love Jesus or you hate him,' for example). This is terribly foreign to the world, and maybe not the way we ought to look at life. Worth considering, at least, possibly....
- The people showcased in this movie, and many Christians in general, seem to have warped Christianity from a spiritual movement into a political one. While I won't argue that our spirituality should not influence our political viewpoints, that doesn't seem to me to be the case here. For example, one of the home-school assignments (and I'm not saying anything about homeschooling; in fact, most of my favorite people in the world were homeschooled for most or all of their education) was analyzing the "logical fallacies" of scientists who argue for global warming. While analysis like this is good for any person's education, the question was obviously phrased with an intended answer ("Scientists believe that trends in recent summer heat point to a large-scale global warming. What's wrong with this thinking?") Additionally, the climax of the camp spiritual experience (at least, as edited by the filmmakers) was an anti-abortion rally. Lame. I mean, if that's the best we have to offer the world...
- We as Christians really reward obscure metaphorical language rather than just saying something straight out.
- There's a really ugly us-vs-them mentality on both sides of the Christian spectrum that gets really lame. (cf Jim Wallis over at "God's Politics," and most other evangelical leaders for a view from the "right")
- They just showed some sequences from New Life in Colorado Springs. Pretty trippy to see people that I recognize in a documentary...
- This "one-third of our generation was aborted stat," does anybody know where this came from? It really sounds crazy high to me, but I've heard it a lot in evangelical youth talk, mostly.
And I laughed.
Peace, love, and joy to you all.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
'Heard: The Week in Quotes (vol 2)
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
-- Douglas Adams
I know I talk about relationships a lot, but I don’t want you to get the impression that I’m hopelessly obsessed with finding a girlfriend, even though I am. Don’t draw that impression from what I’m about to say, but it’s true.
-- Me, 1/5/2006 on the old blog
This president has listened to some people, the so-called Vulcans in the White House, the ideologues. But you know, unlike the Vulcans of Star Trek who made the decisions based on logic and fact, these guys make it on ideology. These aren't Vulcans. There are Klingons in the White House. But unlike the real Klingons of Star Trek, these Klingons have never fought a battle of their own. Don't let faux Klingons send real Americans to war.
-- Rep David Wu (D-OR) (the bolded emphasis, however, was all mine)
The true Christian confession is that Jesus is the Christ. Rightly understood, however, it means nothing else than this: that through the man Jesus we are first lifted into a true fellowship with Got. If it be asked what we are to understand by that, the reply is that for those who truly seek God it should be wonderfully simple. But it is often made difficult by those thieves amid Christendom (John 10. 1), who pretend to come into fellowship with God by some other way than through the man Jesus. The by-path most frequented is that of doctrines concerning Jesus which give him the highest praise, and so form the most convenient means of avoiding his Person. ... The result is that even among us Protestants it has become very difficult for the majority to regard the finding of God as the highest good, or even to look upon it as a wonderful gift from him at all. Most men think it of small importance that Jesus alone makes us certain of a living God, for they imagine that of all the doctrines in which they "believe" the doctrine of the existence of God is the most elementary.
-- Wilhelm Herrmann
-- Douglas Adams
I know I talk about relationships a lot, but I don’t want you to get the impression that I’m hopelessly obsessed with finding a girlfriend, even though I am. Don’t draw that impression from what I’m about to say, but it’s true.
-- Me, 1/5/2006 on the old blog
This president has listened to some people, the so-called Vulcans in the White House, the ideologues. But you know, unlike the Vulcans of Star Trek who made the decisions based on logic and fact, these guys make it on ideology. These aren't Vulcans. There are Klingons in the White House. But unlike the real Klingons of Star Trek, these Klingons have never fought a battle of their own. Don't let faux Klingons send real Americans to war.
-- Rep David Wu (D-OR) (the bolded emphasis, however, was all mine)
The true Christian confession is that Jesus is the Christ. Rightly understood, however, it means nothing else than this: that through the man Jesus we are first lifted into a true fellowship with Got. If it be asked what we are to understand by that, the reply is that for those who truly seek God it should be wonderfully simple. But it is often made difficult by those thieves amid Christendom (John 10. 1), who pretend to come into fellowship with God by some other way than through the man Jesus. The by-path most frequented is that of doctrines concerning Jesus which give him the highest praise, and so form the most convenient means of avoiding his Person. ... The result is that even among us Protestants it has become very difficult for the majority to regard the finding of God as the highest good, or even to look upon it as a wonderful gift from him at all. Most men think it of small importance that Jesus alone makes us certain of a living God, for they imagine that of all the doctrines in which they "believe" the doctrine of the existence of God is the most elementary.
-- Wilhelm Herrmann
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Fiction, History, and a Blank Line for Thought
|| The "Fiction"
"Do you ever feel like you're a failure?"
"Most always."
I sighed. I suppose deep down somewhere I knew this had to be the answer, but I had hoped that there was another life which I had forgotten about.
"What about expectations?" I asked, hoping that there was, indeed, such a thing as hope.
"They suck. What do you mean?"
"Well," I stammered, "I can't ever decide whether I want people to overestimate me or underestimate me. Like, I like to think that I do a lot to play myself down so that people just celebrate the little things I do right. But at the same time, I can totally see the posturing that goes on behind the curtain," which was an allusion to "The Wizard of Oz." "I'd like to think that I don't care what other people think of me, or that I set them up to have such low expectations of me that I seem amazing; of course, all that that really means is that their expectations of me have just gone way up and out of control. Does this make any sense?"
"Not really," I replied, "but I'm not entirely surprised, given the context."
There was a long pause. I knew I had just done it again--there was some posturing, some I'm-a-college-student-so-I-now-need-to-use-semicolons- everywhere-and-words-like-context-or-zeitgeist-or-absurdist- or-whatever, and I hated it. Or at least I thought I did.
"I guess I just feel trapped by people's expectations."
|| The "History" (otherwise known by such names as 'Fact,' 'Non-Fiction,' and 'Truth;' unfortunately, all but one of those monikers fail to apply here)
from The Old Blog (which really now feels like I'm an impoverished immigrant telling a story about life in the Old Lands)
2/24/06
What in the name of Emily Dickinson does this have to do with Silence? I'm in love with the concept of silence, but the practice thereof is certainly lacking. (A great parallel to this is found in my love of girls.) I would love to spend days at a time silent.
Here's the problem. As much as I love silence, I know I can't do it.
Look, some people are statues. You keep them around cause they look nice. Some people are bullet proof vests. They make you feel safe and protected whenever they're around. Some people--these are the lucky ones, and we, who've known a few, are lucky by association--some people are your blanket...you know, the one you grew up with and would throw a fit if you couldn't have. These people--they're more than people, really, they're divine comforters ((which is a play on words))--they make you feel like you're somewhere warm and familiar, somewhere you're loved and protected, safe and hidden away--mine was yellow. After my parents took it away, I didn't take another nap for 15 years.
On my best days, I'm a radio. I sit in the corner, maybe not the prettiest package, but I occasionally make interesting noises--a funny comment here, a story there, a political theological philosophical discussion every now and then.
On my desk in front of me are two clock radios. One of them has no casing, it's contents just randomly strewn about my desk. I never listen to either of them. They're pointless. They're useless. They just gather dust.
Nobody needs a silent radio. Nobody wants a silent radio.
|| The "Blank Line for Thought"
________________reflect here_________________
Peace, love and joy to you all.
"Do you ever feel like you're a failure?"
"Most always."
I sighed. I suppose deep down somewhere I knew this had to be the answer, but I had hoped that there was another life which I had forgotten about.
"What about expectations?" I asked, hoping that there was, indeed, such a thing as hope.
"They suck. What do you mean?"
"Well," I stammered, "I can't ever decide whether I want people to overestimate me or underestimate me. Like, I like to think that I do a lot to play myself down so that people just celebrate the little things I do right. But at the same time, I can totally see the posturing that goes on behind the curtain," which was an allusion to "The Wizard of Oz." "I'd like to think that I don't care what other people think of me, or that I set them up to have such low expectations of me that I seem amazing; of course, all that that really means is that their expectations of me have just gone way up and out of control. Does this make any sense?"
"Not really," I replied, "but I'm not entirely surprised, given the context."
There was a long pause. I knew I had just done it again--there was some posturing, some I'm-a-college-student-so-I-now-need-to-use-semicolons- everywhere-and-words-like-context-or-zeitgeist-or-absurdist- or-whatever, and I hated it. Or at least I thought I did.
"I guess I just feel trapped by people's expectations."
|| The "History" (otherwise known by such names as 'Fact,' 'Non-Fiction,' and 'Truth;' unfortunately, all but one of those monikers fail to apply here)
from The Old Blog (which really now feels like I'm an impoverished immigrant telling a story about life in the Old Lands)
2/24/06
What in the name of Emily Dickinson does this have to do with Silence? I'm in love with the concept of silence, but the practice thereof is certainly lacking. (A great parallel to this is found in my love of girls.) I would love to spend days at a time silent.
Here's the problem. As much as I love silence, I know I can't do it.
Look, some people are statues. You keep them around cause they look nice. Some people are bullet proof vests. They make you feel safe and protected whenever they're around. Some people--these are the lucky ones, and we, who've known a few, are lucky by association--some people are your blanket...you know, the one you grew up with and would throw a fit if you couldn't have. These people--they're more than people, really, they're divine comforters ((which is a play on words))--they make you feel like you're somewhere warm and familiar, somewhere you're loved and protected, safe and hidden away--mine was yellow. After my parents took it away, I didn't take another nap for 15 years.
On my best days, I'm a radio. I sit in the corner, maybe not the prettiest package, but I occasionally make interesting noises--a funny comment here, a story there, a political theological philosophical discussion every now and then.
On my desk in front of me are two clock radios. One of them has no casing, it's contents just randomly strewn about my desk. I never listen to either of them. They're pointless. They're useless. They just gather dust.
Nobody needs a silent radio. Nobody wants a silent radio.
|| The "Blank Line for Thought"
________________reflect here_________________
Peace, love and joy to you all.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
'Heard: The Week in Quotes
Fear not the path of truth for the lack of people walking on it.
-- Robert F Kennedy
The human comedy doesn’t attract me enough. I am not entirely of this world …. I am from elsewhere. And it is worth finding this elsewhere beyond the walls.
-- Eugene Ionesco
Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital, quality for those who seek to change a world which yields most painfully to change.
-- Robert F. Kennedy
Peace, love, and joy to you all.
-- Robert F Kennedy
The human comedy doesn’t attract me enough. I am not entirely of this world …. I am from elsewhere. And it is worth finding this elsewhere beyond the walls.
-- Eugene Ionesco
Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital, quality for those who seek to change a world which yields most painfully to change.
-- Robert F. Kennedy
Peace, love, and joy to you all.
Friday, January 12, 2007
The Scariest Six Words a Christian Can Hear
"What if there were no secrets?"
In my Christian experience, this is the single most terrifying question. Furthermore, in my Christian experience, I can think of nothing which unites the whole community of believers--whether Roman Catholic, Episcopalian, Presbyterian, Methodist, Pentecostal, Non-Denominational, Inter-Denominational, or whatever else one may be in this era of fragmentation--more than the fear of people truly knowing us, knowing both our incredible and individually manifest potential for greatness and also the depths of our own inner depravity. In all honesty, I don't know which of those facets of our own humanity is more frightening.
Still, I think the greater problem is the fear we instill within believers which keeps them from acknowledging their sin. One of the trends I've observed in Christianity over the past decade or so has been a movement towards pastors who are more "transparent." Those quote marks are quite intentional. You see, while I can't even begin to count the number of times I've heard a pastor admit his/her weakness of road rage, rudeness, anger, impatience, mistreatment of family members, past drug/alcohol abuse, or deceitfulness, I can't think of even one example of a pastor admitting to struggling with lust, pride (and here I make the caveat that I've not heard them intentionally portray their own pride; sometimes it just bleeds through every word), or other "big" sin. Even hearing a pastor talk about past sexual sin or struggles takes the air out of the room. Say "pornography" in chapel. It's an amazing trick.
And we, like robots, follow their lead. When we're really open and honest and vulnerable with each other, we admit to struggling with the huge spiritual demons of "busy-ness," maybe a lie or two, and, God forbid, not being able to squeeze an hour of prayer, Bible study, and worship into our lives.
I can't speak for anyone else, and any attempt to do so would be incredibly foolish, but I can speak for myself: I've used prescription painkillers just so that I can feel something other than myself and my problems (which are almost entirely trite and adolescent in nature). I've lusted enough that, by Jesus' own logic, I'm an adulterer with thousands of women, if not more.
If you think less of me now, I guess I'd have to say that I'm disappointed, mainly in the fact that I bought into the lie of deceiving everyone around me. Maybe I wasn't successful, maybe I was. But that's irrelevant--the difference is between walking in darkness and walking in light.
God is light and in him there is no darkness.
That's what I thought about today. "What if there were no secrets?" How ultimately liberating and, yet, terrifying that idea is. When everyone already knows, what is there to be afraid of? And, to quote one of my favorite poets, "If I'm afraid and you're afraid, then we don't have to be afraid anymore."
In my Christian experience, this is the single most terrifying question. Furthermore, in my Christian experience, I can think of nothing which unites the whole community of believers--whether Roman Catholic, Episcopalian, Presbyterian, Methodist, Pentecostal, Non-Denominational, Inter-Denominational, or whatever else one may be in this era of fragmentation--more than the fear of people truly knowing us, knowing both our incredible and individually manifest potential for greatness and also the depths of our own inner depravity. In all honesty, I don't know which of those facets of our own humanity is more frightening.
Still, I think the greater problem is the fear we instill within believers which keeps them from acknowledging their sin. One of the trends I've observed in Christianity over the past decade or so has been a movement towards pastors who are more "transparent." Those quote marks are quite intentional. You see, while I can't even begin to count the number of times I've heard a pastor admit his/her weakness of road rage, rudeness, anger, impatience, mistreatment of family members, past drug/alcohol abuse, or deceitfulness, I can't think of even one example of a pastor admitting to struggling with lust, pride (and here I make the caveat that I've not heard them intentionally portray their own pride; sometimes it just bleeds through every word), or other "big" sin. Even hearing a pastor talk about past sexual sin or struggles takes the air out of the room. Say "pornography" in chapel. It's an amazing trick.
And we, like robots, follow their lead. When we're really open and honest and vulnerable with each other, we admit to struggling with the huge spiritual demons of "busy-ness," maybe a lie or two, and, God forbid, not being able to squeeze an hour of prayer, Bible study, and worship into our lives.
I can't speak for anyone else, and any attempt to do so would be incredibly foolish, but I can speak for myself: I've used prescription painkillers just so that I can feel something other than myself and my problems (which are almost entirely trite and adolescent in nature). I've lusted enough that, by Jesus' own logic, I'm an adulterer with thousands of women, if not more.
If you think less of me now, I guess I'd have to say that I'm disappointed, mainly in the fact that I bought into the lie of deceiving everyone around me. Maybe I wasn't successful, maybe I was. But that's irrelevant--the difference is between walking in darkness and walking in light.
God is light and in him there is no darkness.
That's what I thought about today. "What if there were no secrets?" How ultimately liberating and, yet, terrifying that idea is. When everyone already knows, what is there to be afraid of? And, to quote one of my favorite poets, "If I'm afraid and you're afraid, then we don't have to be afraid anymore."
Friday, January 5, 2007
Photos and Memories...
So, I may be in need of a reminder that there isn't going to be another chance.
Either that, or I want another chance.
Peace, love, and joy to you all.
Either that, or I want another chance.
Peace, love, and joy to you all.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Drug-Induced Again...
I'm getting more serious about seminary next spring.
If anybody ever tells you that they're going to perform a gum graft on you, expect lots of grossness and pain. Seriously, of all the crazy things I've had done to me in the past year or so, this is both the grossest and most painful. I've come to the conclusion that I'm a bungee jumper, my mouth is the cord, and vicodin is the bridge--I keep on jumping away, but this stupid tooth just keeps pulling me back.
I hate the fact that I am always looking for somebody to love me regardless of whether I care about them even a little bit. Here's hoping that I can get past the approval of others.
I have summer plans. This makes me happy. I'll write about them later, I have to get through the list of people I need to tell face to face while I'm home before I cast the bottle out into the sea.
Justin Timberlake is not cool.
I probably shouldn'tpost when I'm on vicodin, but whatev--
I don't think it counts as trusting God if you know exactly how it ends. I was listening to Power 88 the other day, which has actually restored my faith in the notion of Christian radio that doesn't blow, and they were talking about the story of Daniel in the lions' den. The speaker was talking about how Daniel didn't just throw in the towel and say "Oh well, I guess God wants me to die this way," but that he trusted God to preserve his life. And I think he was wrong.
Daniel trusted God by doing what God had told him to do with a blatant disregard for material consequences. Here's an example of what I'm trying to get at: My mom loves making cookies, and she's very good at it. Imagine that she has just concocted some new type of cookie and sets the still steaming cookies in front of me with the simple instruction to try one. Trust would have me eat one--it's the opposite of trust for me to ask her exactly what's in it and what it's going to do to me.
OK, well, it's time for another round of my buddy vic.
Peace, love, and joy to you all.
If anybody ever tells you that they're going to perform a gum graft on you, expect lots of grossness and pain. Seriously, of all the crazy things I've had done to me in the past year or so, this is both the grossest and most painful. I've come to the conclusion that I'm a bungee jumper, my mouth is the cord, and vicodin is the bridge--I keep on jumping away, but this stupid tooth just keeps pulling me back.
I hate the fact that I am always looking for somebody to love me regardless of whether I care about them even a little bit. Here's hoping that I can get past the approval of others.
I have summer plans. This makes me happy. I'll write about them later, I have to get through the list of people I need to tell face to face while I'm home before I cast the bottle out into the sea.
Justin Timberlake is not cool.
I probably shouldn'tpost when I'm on vicodin, but whatev--
I don't think it counts as trusting God if you know exactly how it ends. I was listening to Power 88 the other day, which has actually restored my faith in the notion of Christian radio that doesn't blow, and they were talking about the story of Daniel in the lions' den. The speaker was talking about how Daniel didn't just throw in the towel and say "Oh well, I guess God wants me to die this way," but that he trusted God to preserve his life. And I think he was wrong.
Daniel trusted God by doing what God had told him to do with a blatant disregard for material consequences. Here's an example of what I'm trying to get at: My mom loves making cookies, and she's very good at it. Imagine that she has just concocted some new type of cookie and sets the still steaming cookies in front of me with the simple instruction to try one. Trust would have me eat one--it's the opposite of trust for me to ask her exactly what's in it and what it's going to do to me.
OK, well, it's time for another round of my buddy vic.
Peace, love, and joy to you all.
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